Navel-Gazing

I’ve been really very busy.  So…

I’ve been eating shitty food and giving my conscience the middle finger.

I’ve been checked out for a little while—caught up in my head but not aware of what’s been going on in my spirit. I’ve been having fun but dealing with this lingering unease. I’ve been afraid.

 

I’ve been subsisting on Mumford and Sons. I’ve been dying to change bad habits.

I’ve been working full days.

I’ve been thinking of God as someone I used to know.  I’ve been longing for courage. I’ve been hating people. I’ve been eschewing thoughts of “better.”

I’ve been tired of all of this.

But…I’m on a mini vacation now. And I’m putting myself back together.  And a new year’s approaching.  And I plan on living it better.

So, I'll be back soon with relevant material :).

Just in case you were wondering where I've been...

Simple Sweet Potato Pie--Paleo and Vegan

I like to bring separate worlds together. Twilight and Harry potter? I love both! Christian and Feminist? Right here, baby. Paleo and Vegan? We can make it work!  I’m on the hunt for recipes that fit in both worlds. I’ve come up with a few simple ones myself and found a couple of others. I am excited to share them on this blog! Here is one to startJ.

Simple Paleo Vegan Sweet Potato Pie

Crust
1/3 cup raw macadamia nuts and raw cashews
4 dates

Filling

½ can of sweet potato puree

¼ tsp cinnamon
1/8 tsp nutmeg
1/8 tsp ground ginger

Directions

1.       To make the crust put the nuts and dates in a food processor and process until the mixture is sticky and clumps together.

2.       Press mixture into small pie pan ( I used a  2 cup circular Pyrex container  b/c I didn’t have pie pans)

3.       Whisk sweet potato pie puree with spices, scoop onto crust, and spread evenly.

4.       Bake at 350 degrees until sweet potato starts to brown (about 15 minutes?)

5.       Let cool and stick in the fridge for about half an hour so that it’ll be nice and firm.

6.       EAT IT!!

 

I decided to make this because I used half a can of sweet potato puree to make salmon cakes and didn’t know what to do with the remaining bit. Pie seemed like a good choice! I definitely broke a Whole30 rule—they tell you not to recreate desserts using Paleo approved ingredients—but ah well. I think this was basically a meal. It had fruit (dates), a vegetable (sweet potato), healthy fats (raw nuts), and spices!  AND it was tiny and it still took me 3 days to eat.  So even though dates are high sugar and nuts are high fat, I used small amounts and ate small servings so it was definitely healthy. Let me know if you try to make this. I’ve only attempted this once so these might not be the best instructions. But it’s so simple I really don’t think you can go wrong!

Paleo Trial: Days 16-18

So....

Things have fallen apart. The collapse started slowly with the popcorn and Hot Tamales, peaked on Halloween when my roommates and I had a huge bucket of candy and no trick-or-treaters (you figure out what happened), and is now tapering off. Sigh. Now, I definitely don't think I'll be able to tell just how beneficial the Paleo diet was or could have been for me. I'm going to post what I ate on Days 16, 17, and 18. I'm currently on day 22. We will call days 19-21 the "lost days" and I won't talk about them. The shame is too great.  We'll see if I can at least finish strong and do Paleo really well from days 23-30. I think I am over it though. This was exciting at first but I really don't think it's something that I can do all day every day. Quality, cruelty free meat is just too much for my budget! It really stresses me out--buying pricey meat and worrying about not having enough of it when I have so many different kinds of beans sitting in my pantry (I have a post coming up about this)!! AND it's also kind of boring. Beef, chicken, fish, beef chicken fish, beefchickenfish, maybe lamb, sometimes goat, a little pork, beefchickenfish, turkey. Boiled egg, scrambled egg, poached egg, omlette. Repeat.  LOL. OK...I am being completely unfair. There are tons of ways to get creative with your meat (and I absolutely love ground beef, pork, and salmon--grass fed, wild). But I just don't like preparing meat as much as I like making plant-based meals. I think a big part of that is that I'm still battling with how I feel about eating meat regularly.  On a good note though, one of my main fears has been put to rest--eating a lot of meat will not automatically make you constipated! The fiber from the fruits, veggies, nuts, and seeds has proven to be sufficient for my digestive system. Yay for being regular!

Day 16

Meal 1
I could do better
Green tea  (w/ a bit of honey and stevia!)
Banana
Apple
Almond pumpkin bars made by paleo friend at church
Meal 2

Bbq pork
Lettuce
Orange
Meal 3

Chicken leg and thigh
Roasted onions
Grapes
Day 17
Meal 1

I often end up eating breakfast at work b/c I'm always running late!

1 serving green smoothie- 2 cups chard, ¼ raw soaked almonds, 2 tbs ground flaxseed soaked overnight, 1 apple, 1 frozen banana, ½ avocado, water to blend. Yum.
Omlette-2 eggs, onions, nutritional yeast and a bit of sea salt
Snack
1 cup grapes
Meal 2

2 cups red leaf lettuce
Roasted Chicken breast
½ avocado
Snack
¼ cup raisins
¼ cup raw cashews
Peppermint tea
1 gala apple
Post work out meal
2^nd serving green smoothie
Meal 3

I loved this meal so much!

6 oz wild Alaskan salmon: broiled with an amazing honey-mustard glaze!
1 baked acorn squash with coconut butter and sea salt (so good!)
2/3 cup steamed mixed veggies
Day 18
Meal 1
Green Smoothie- 2 cups tastoi, ½ avocado, 1 gala apple, 1 banana, ¼  cup raw almonds, soaked, water to blend.
Omlette from 3 eggs and ½ a large yellow onion
Snack
½ cup grapes
¼ cup raisins and handful of raw walnuts
Meal 2
Roasted chicken
1/5 cups red leaf lettuce
½ avocado
Snack
Banana
Meal 3
Second serving  green smoothie

I love ground beef. Made some  for tomorrow’s meals and I just love that kind of still raw bloody beef taste it has. Mm.


I decided to leave my thoughts about ground beef unedited. Gross right? But so true. Yum.

Quickie: Jillian Michaels Talks Paleo

Hi friends!

Just wanted to share this very quick video of Jillian Michaels (love. her.)  discussing her opinion of the Paleo diet. I really like her take on it and on different diets in general! She basically says to use common sense and eat whole real foods and not fake crap and you'll ultimately be fine! Have a looksie!

Isn't she great?!

Paleo Trial: Days 13-15

Ok,

I'm just going to come right out and confess. On Saturday night (day 15) I ate popcorn and Hot Tamales (the candy)!!! My roommates and I watched The Shining, in honor of Halloween weekend and those were our movie watching snacks. The good news is that the popcorn was fairly healthy since we (well, they) popped it from the original kernel, in a pot w/ olive oil (as opposed to the not so healthy microwave variety). My body definitely reacted though. Within 5 minutes I was super bloated! The bloating lasted for hours, in fact I was still bloated when I went to sleep and felt pretty uncomfortable when I woke up the next morning.  And that morning, Sunday, I put a bit of raw honey and stevia in my tea! And after church on Sunday I had a little pumpkin ball thingy that a friend of mine made, the ingredients of which included maple syrup, rolled oats, and sugar. AND that same friend gave me a few slices of a pumpkin loaf she'd made the previous evening. The loaf was made from almond flour and thus completely grain free and "essentially" paleo-friendly but there were maple syrup and chocolate chips in it! Then I had some more Hot Tamales on Sunday night because the huge bag was in our living room and it was literally calling out to me. Ok, not literally, but still. Overall, I don't feel bad about my minor Paleo deviance. According to the Whole30 people I technically need to start the 30 day trial over because I interfered with my body's resetting process. According to Loren Cordain (author of The Paleo Diet), however, everything is alright, I've just used up my "open meals" for the week (although those things don't qualify as "meals" really) and I'll always be fine as long as the majority of the food I eat is strictly Paleo! So. I am ok. I think I am going to tack an additonal 2 days on to my trial though to make up for Saturday and Sunday.

Day 13

Meal 1
Hot water w/ lemon
Green smoothie #3 "Mangolicious Strawberry-Mint" -strawberry, mango, mizuna, mint, water, ground flax, cinnamon, soaked almonds, dash of sea salt. I'd give this one a 6. Again, just not sweet enough.
3 Salmon cakes
Snack
Jasmine green tea
Banana
Dried fig w/ a few raw macadamia nuts
 Meal 2
Chicken breast
1 cup lettuce
½ avocado
An orange
Snack
2 figs
Handful of macadamia nuts
Salmon cake
Meal 3

Garlic Shrimp  (I cooked an entire bag of frozen shrimp and ate nearly ¾ of it in one go!!)
1 cup Russian kale sautéed with olive oil and garlic
Small piece of paleo sweet potato pie
Peppermint tea
Day 14
Meal 1
Hot water w/lemon
Green tea w/ a touch of raw honey (gasp I know I cheated)
banana
Green smoothie #6 “Vanilla Chai” smoothie- 2 cups greens (mix of kale, mizuna,and  chard), figs, soaked chia gel, soaked almond, soaked sunflower seeds, avocado, cinnamon, nutmeg, vanilla extract, dash of sea salt, ice....meh. I guess i'd give it a 6.5/7. I was impressed that you couldn't taste the greens. And I suppose it did taste "chai"-ish. I just didn't like it a whole lot overall.
leftover broiled garlic shrimp
Snack
1 fuji apple
Meal 2
2 cups steamed cauliflower
1.5 Salmon cakes
2 small clementine oranges
Small piece of paleo- friendly sweet potato pie
Meal 3

Grilled chicken salad from Leonas w/ Italian dressing. I should have learned my lesson about dressings by now. I doubt it was Paleo approved. I felt very allergy-y after eating it. I need to make my own dressing
My salad came with an amazing looking loaf of bread. I nearly cried b/c I wanted to eat it so badly. I gave it to my roommate though. Sigh. The no bread thing is just getting harder and harder.
Day 15
Meal 1
Green smoothie #7 "Choc-Chai Smoothie" -2 cups mizuna, soaked sunflower seeds, soaked almonds,  water,  soaked chia gel, avocado, figs, dates, cacao powder, ccinnamon, nutmeg, vanilla, dash of sea salt. Again, impressed by the no-greens taste but wasn't a big fan over all. 6.5/7.
Meal 2

Left over Leona's Salad mix
Can of sardines ( I made a sardine salad!)
Roasted red onion
Rest of paleo sweet potato pie
Snack

I roasted a whole chicken on my own! I need practice lol.

2 tiny roasted chicken wings (this was unintentional. I was cutting/tearing my roast chicken into pieces and the next thing I knew there was a tiny, crispy chicken wing in my hand and i thought to myself "I can either put this in the container or just eat this little thing right now!" I chose the latter. Same story for the 2nd wing.
Apple,
Small taste bites of bbq country style pork ribs
Meal 3

Handful of grapes
slow cooked bbq country style pork ribs (my first time cooking pork. HUGE success :D)
Salad (STILL had leftover salad from Leona's)
Banana
Peppermint tea

Oemmgee- popcorn and hot tamales, my “open meal” while watching a movie with my roommates….super bloated. FOR HOURS.  Still bloated as I go to sleep typing this.

 

So I am behind on updating. As I type this I've just completed day 18. I'll share what I ate days 16-18 tomorrow! I must say I don't know what I'm currently making of ths diet. The novelty has worn off some and I miss being an aspiring vegan. More on that later, though. Who knows, I might feel differently in another 2 weeks!

Where to go from here: A "spiritual" update

I am notoriously late to everything— work, meetings, movie dates, appointments, casual hangouts, etc.  Considering this, I was very happy when I made it to church at a decent time this past Sunday!  Normally, when I arrive, there are only seven minutes left of the sermon or five minutes left of prayer time, which comes after the sermon. Not so last Sunday—I was there before the service even started!  I sang all of the worship songs; I read the entire liturgy; I heard every prayer request, and shared my own, during our communal prayer time; and most importantly, I listened to the sermon.

It was a really great sermon.

 Our associate pastor, Mike, spoke about the cost of discipleship. I have been preoccupied with many things these past few months and being a true disciple of Jesus has been the least of them. Jesus tells us to count the cost of being his disciple, to really consider if we are ready to love our family, friends, lovers, and lives LESS than we love him. Lately, for me, the answer has been “no, I’m not ready. No I don’t want to.” But Jesus says we can’t live the life he has for us without giving up everything. Pastor Mike reminded us of all these things but this is what he emphasized—the glory of what we receive in return far surpasses all we give up. The Kingdom of God is worth all we have and own.

 I needed to hear that.

 Having been a church attendee my entire life, literally my entire life, it’s something I have heard many, many times. It’s not something I’d really thought about lately, however. I believe that the Kingdom of God is worth everything. I do. At the same time, I don’t know if I reaaaally believe it because it’s not something my life currently reflects.  Jesus, God, the Holy Spirit—I think about them a lot, I think TO them a lot, but they are not at the center of my life.  I read a chapter in my Bible every few days or so; every once in a while I crack open my devotional; I regularly attend my biweekly women’s small group. I try to be kind, patient and not bitchy…most days. I give money to those who ask it from me….most times. I thank God for my blessings; I say prayers for other people when they text me their requests… That is all there is to my “spiritual life” right now. And y’know…those things a disciple do not make.

I’m in, but I am not all in.

I’m not all in, and I am not about to take any leaps to be all in. I am not sure what that should look like for me. I am, however, going to think about the cost again. Mike’s sermon woke me up in a way and reminded me that if I’m going to do this Christianity thing well, the goal is to be an actual disciple. So I’m going to approach Jesus again with that in mind. I’m going to observe him, learn from him, listen to his teachings about the Kingdom of God.  I am going to look at all the things going on in my life right now and see how I feel about them in light of seriously considering God’s Kingdom again.

What does that actually mean practically?  ::incoherent mumble/sound that roughly translates to “I ‘unno”:: A lot of scripture reading? A lot of meditation? I’m  really not sure. I’m going to ask God to help me with this. I know S/he will.

Paleo Trial: Days 10-12

For the past week, I've been reading The Paleo Diet: Lose Weight and Get Healthy by Eating the Foods You Were Designed to Eat by Loren Cordain, Ph.D. Apparently he was one of the first people to really publicize the Paleo diet and his books are listed in the "Resource" section of It Starts With Food. I find this listing a little funny as there are significant differences between the type of Paleo diet the Hartwigs (the ISWF authors) endorse and the type that Cordain endorses.

The Whole30 people (the Hartwigs) say that fat in your meat does not matter as long as the meat is grass fed, pastured, and organic. Cordain says ALWAYS choose the leanest cuts of meat. Always. The Hartwigs advocate cooking with ghee and coconut oil and say that eating sweet potatoes is fine. Cordain says absolutely no potatoes of any kind and that olive oil is the only oil that should be used for cooking. Cordain also says that walnuts are the best nuts to eat because of their favorable omega 6-omega 3 ratio. The Hartwigs say that walnuts are the absolute worst nut to eat. Wanna use flax oil? The Hartwigs say "NO!" Cordain says "sure!!" Wanna add a little sea salt to your food? Cordain says "NO!" The Hartwigs say, "absolutely....and while you're at it use a little table salt too so that you get enough iodine in your diet." Cordain says no more than 6-12 eggs per week. The Hartwigs say 3-5 eggs per meal baby. Wanna snack on some fruit? Cordain says "go ahead." The Hartwigs say "ehhh...you really shouldn't be snacking. Least of all on fruit alone. If you MUST make sure you add lots of protein and some fat to that snack!" 

Most significantly, Cordain is all about the stone age.The foundation for all of his pro-Paleo diet arguments is that early humans ate this way and thrived on this diet. As I mentioned in my initial post about deciding to start the Whole30 program, the Hartwigs hardly refer to early humans but rather cite a ton of current scientific/ medical research proving the benefits of the foods they advocate eating and the negative consequences of eating the foods they deem "less healthy."

So just like over in Vegan city,  Paleo town is filled with "experts" who don't necessarily agree with one another on the best way to live their chosen diet. I'm curious about what I'll find in the third Paleo book I pick up.

In other news, in an effort to step up my green smoothie game, I recenly purchased the ebook Green Smoothie Magic: 132+ Delicious Green Smoothie Recipes That Trim And Slim . I have decided to make each of the 132 smoothies and rate them! I have made four so far and have only really liked one. I think the main reason I haven't been blown away by any of the recipes is that the fruits that I've been using have not been that sweet and I haven't been adding any sweetener. The great thing about all the recipes though is that they each have AT LEAST 2 cups of greens in them and you really can't taste them once everything is blended. Tomorrow, I'll be making a "Vanilla Chai" smoothie and I'm excited to see how something with 2 cups of greens in it can still taste like chai!

Anywhoo here's what I ate on days 10-12 with some random notes included:

Day 10

 Meal 1

My breakfast vs. Emile's breakfast. Why does the 4 year old have more food than I do?

Green smoothie-"#1 Classic Pine-Mint Smoothie" -spinach, mint, pineapple, avocado, water—approx  3 cups. I'd rate this one a 6.5. Wasn't sweet enough for me.
2 Hard boiled eggs
1/2 cup strawberries
Small handful of raw cashews
Pre workout snack
2 dried figs
Big slice of dried mango
2 small handfuls raw cashews
Meal 2

Baked almond crusted dover sole (have I mentioned that I hate Dover Sole fish?)
1 cup spinach
½ cup green beans
 Meal 3

Stuffed bell peppers (red bell pepper w/ ground turkey, onion, garlic, zucchini, tomatoe, egg, spices)
Romaine lettuce
2 Paleo “apple muffins”
Dried mango slices

Day 11
Meal 1

Green smoothie-"#2 Cinnamango Smoothie" 2 cups chard, mango, mint, water, cinnamon, sea salt, vanilla extract. Another 6.5 for the same reason.
Half of a stuffed bell pepper w/ fried egg,
¼ avocado
Apple muffin
Meal 2
2^nd serving green smoothie
Banana
Fuji apple
Half of a stuffed bell pepper
1 cup raw romaine lettuce
Meal 3

3 dried figs
1 kiwi
1 cup green beans
2 cups seasoned ground turkey (leftover bell pepper filling)
½ avocado’’
1 small sweet potato
2 apple muffins!!!
Snack
Banana
2 dried figs
A few pieces of pan cooked chicken breast that I made tonight for tomorrow

Day 12
Meal 1
Green smoothie-apple, mango, tatsoi, parsley, mint , flaxseed, water
2 fried eggs
¼ cup raw cashews

About 10 minutes after finishing everything I had the worst acid reflux every in my life. Shit burned. And I’ve been feeling “reflux-y” all day since L

Rooibos peppermint tea. Amazing.

 Meal 2

2^nd serving of green smoothie
Chicken breast
2 cups romaine lettuce
½ avocado
Snack
Banana
4 oz organic unsweetened apple sauce
3 dried figs and a handful of raw macadamia nuts
Snack 2
Small handful cashews
Small bowl of fruit-frozen strawberries and pineapple
Meal 3

2 salmon cakes (recipe from It Starts With Food)
½ avocado
Green beans
Snack 3
Frozen pineapple

Fin.