Friday, November 15, 2013

Self Care and Exciting Mysteries

A couple of weeks ago, I decided that I would consciously and unashamedly dedicate November to my well-being.  I planned to actively take care of myself with more nourishing, home-cooked food, more abundant and higher quality sleep, more reading and writing, more lying in the dark listening to beautiful music (what, you don't do that?), more moving my body, more aloooone time but-and-also more time with friends not named Hannah (although I do love her and my time with her very much).

I've been marginally successful. I've done more cooking than in previous months and although I currently can't stand the sight of a green smoothie, I've increased my salad intake tenfold (or five threefold, whatever). I've had more alone time and spent more time with non-significant-other friends. On the other hand, I haven't read or written as much as I've been wanting to, my daily exercise still only comes in one form: my 10 minute walk to and from work, and the listening to music in the dark thing has been a no-go.The very, very great news is that I have an entire half of a month left to continue to make progress, and I will use those two weeks well!

In other news:

My life is in crazy flux! So many things are changing in so little time. In less than two weeks I will end my term at my current job (I have so many things to wrap up) and be on my way to Nashville, TN for Thanksgiving! Immediately after returning to Chicago, I will start a new full time job (praise), settle into a new apartment, play kitten mommy for a month, and possibly begin preparations to start another Master's program (part time). I'll share more details as these things happen but just know that my head is spinning! A couple of weeks ago when this was all still very uncertain and I was in danger of an anxiety meltdown in my office, my dearest Han, via Google chat, encouraged me with these words:

" I love you dear. Pray to Jesus for patience. I will try to find you some inspirational recorded thoughts from someone smarter than me, but until then just try to love this time as more of an exciting mystery than a scary secret."

I loved that last bit especially and decided from that moment on that "scary secrets" were out and "exciting mysteries" were in. Women's group last night reinforced this for me. During prayer, one of the women asked that God would help us all to celebrate and rejoice at what S/He is doing in our lives instead of allowing anxiety and fear to have center stage. Another woman prayed that we would all find peace with uncertainty and weakness, knowing that it's in those things that God's certainty and strength are exemplified.

I'm still scared. A lot can still go wrong how am I moving all of my shit?! . But in this moment, I'm choosing to make the joy, hope, and excitement of everything larger than my fears.

Oh, and in case you didn't catch it in the first picture, this happened:

3 weeks into my new do, it's already grown out from the starting 1/4 of an inch
Nearly 4 weeks ago, I asked Han to shave my head for me, and she did (she's done it several times before). I did it for completely different reasons than the first time and I love it more than I did the first time.

I think it's a good look for 25.